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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in chancy1's LiveJournal:

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    Saturday, December 12th, 2009
    6:14 pm
    trot in two:four time through snow...
    First update in a long long time. Life. Life is good. Grad school is still good. School is very busy. I am working on research that is different than anything I ever thought I would study. I never thought snails would catch my attention like this. I am putting more effort into this research than I thought I would. My experiment is my baby. These interactions between predators and prey are amazing. The intricate way this happens fascinates me. For me, science leads to my belief in a god.

    The horse is still doing well. He has come a very long way since I bought him. He is my amazing stress relief. I rarely ever ride with a bridle or saddle. I just throw a halter on him and jump on bareback. I am usually fine at a walk, trot, or canter. I can't get over how far he has come. I am finally over my irrational fear of him. Falling off of him early this fall ended my fear. That is counter intuitive I know, but I think I rarely act in the expected way.

    In reflection, I think this year I have really learned how to let myself go and enjoy what life throws at me. I try not to stress. I try not to let things get to me. I have horse. I have work. I have friends. I have family. I have a great life.

    I had a big plan about what I wanted to do after I graduated this spring. Things are not going to happen like a planned. I am going to work for Andy this summer again at PLE. I am going to run my experiment through one more summer. I am not going to be able to just load the horse up and leave until fall or winter. I want to keep this research going longer. I want to do the best experiment possible. I enjoy it. I am a little bit frightened of moving on. I think Iceland this spring will help me get over my fear of change and fear of different places. This will give me time to work on training D to trailer and travel and do well in new places and a variety of places.

    <3
    Thursday, January 8th, 2009
    11:08 am
    looking back
    I don't know if I have ever written about the hectic few days when I brought Danar home, but I really like to remember it.

    That was the summer after sophomore year, so I was at the regional track meet in one of the Carolina's. They flew me back to Philly, then we were driven to Easton, from there I jumped in my car and drove the 6 hours home. As I pulled into the driveway my parents were just starting to unload hay out of the van. So the first thing I did as I got home is unload and stack hay. Mom and Dad must have bought feed for me... I don't think I had time to do it myself. Then I had to set up the barn and mark and check the fence. I hauled bedding from Sue's, beded down the stall, walked the fence and marked it with tree flagging tape, I tied up the sagging parts of the fence with twine, I filled up a water tub for D (it was getting darker and darker). Finally I was exhausted, covered in hay and sawdust, so I go home. Mom and I were preparing to leave the next morning to pick up D with Brenda and Bud. I packed up anything we could possibly need... halters, leads, boots, snacks, drinks.

    We met Brenda and Bud at their house and hitched up the trailer. We got only slightly lost on our hour ride to Ohio. We pulled into the barn and the owner led D out. Somehow he stepped right into the trailer. He loaded up like a dream. At this point I was recalling the nightmares I have had for the two weeks when I owned him but couldn't yet bring him home. I was so worried that this large horse would kill me. I had myself convinced that he was drugged and crazy and evil. The words from his owner were stuck in my head... just don't ride him in the open... I didn't have an arena to ride him in... I only had open fields. The whole ride home I watched D through the back window of the truck and hoped and worried.

    When we got home He unloaded easily, but he was pulling at the lead. I led him around the pasture for a bit, then I turned him loose with his halter still on. He ran right at the single strand of barbed wire across the middle of the pasture. I thought he was going to kill himself, but he didn't. He turned in time. I left him out to run for a half hour or so. He ran and ran and ran while screaming to the horses next door. He had not been on pasture in his old home and I didn't want him to colic so I didn't leave him out. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to catch him, but it was easy. I locked him in his stall with hay and water. He was lonely and scared. I fed him, but he ate very little of his feed. He must have pawed and kicked that whole first night. The next morning he had a long cut on his back leg. I slowly weaned him onto the pasture. He was much happier when he was on full turnout.

    The first time I went to ride him I was really nervous. I lunged him a little bit first and he bucked. I thought he was going to do that with me in the saddle. I was leaning on him, then getting back off a lot. Finally Frank was like... "just get on". I figured what did I have to loose, so I did. Danar acted perfect. I think we just walked and trotted for that ride.

    That was a summer of ups and downs with that horse. As the summer went on Danar calmed down, but I thought he was one of the most condescending horses I had ever met. I would walk up to him in the pasture and he would ignore me. He would do everything I asked of him, but only because he was well trained not because he cared about me at all. Our relationship developed over time. I spent hours grazing with him in the pasture. I started riding him loose in the pasture. Our rides got longer. We tried new things. I let other people ride him. At some point I realized that I couldn't resell this horse. No sane person would be willing to pay enough for selling Danar to be worth it. My summer project horse became a forever horse.

    Thinking back on how I ended up with this horse always amuses me. I bought him because he was there and he seemed sane and sound when I tried him out and I thought I may be able to resell him. If he didn't work out I was planning on taking him to the auction. This resale animal is the horse that I now trail ride bareback. He is the horse that hears my voice and comes up to me in the pasture. He is the horse that waits for me by the fence, will stand ground tied, but still retains the energy of the racehorse.
    Sunday, January 4th, 2009
    9:01 pm
    Some days I just need to run into the pasture, throw on a halter, jump on bareback, and go... I can never run far or fast enough on my own so I let D do it for me. Feeling the wind biting my face and feeling the pounding of hooves through me reminds me that I am alive. Throwing my arms around his disheveled neck and laughing a bit longer and louder than is sane makes everything better. There is no longer room for distracting thoughts or outside fears when I am flying. There are no words that can ruin this trust. There are no actions that can not be forgiven. Life is simple.
    Thursday, October 23rd, 2008
    7:34 pm
    life
    I haven't posted on this in a long long time. Life right now is amazing. There is no other way for me to put it. Yes, it is lonely at time. Yes, it is frustrating. Yes, I have had more headaches this year than in the past four years put together, but I really love it. Having D with me makes all the difference in the world. There are some stresses that only riding a horse you trust bareback with a halter can melt away. Some days I swear that horse knows what I am feeling and knows exactly how to react to it. I make enough time to take care of him, and morning feedings make me feel alive.

    Classes are going well. I realized this year that I am not as stupid as I always allowed myself to believe. Having professors with high expectations in me really helps. I know all of my teachers very well and I trust all of them. If I get confused I go and talk to them.

    It is strange though. School and home are very separate for me this year. When I leave school, I leave campus and friends and people. When I am home at night, I am alone. It is only the fish, the bird, and me. I have really learned to like this lifestyle. I miss roomies to chat with and be silly with, but I am learning how to be independent. One of the things I wanted to do this year was learn to live alone, and I am learning. (now if only i can learn to cook well...).

    I am happy, but I do miss a lot of things though. I miss cuddles. I miss silly roomie singing. I miss track, track dinner, teammates, track practices, coaches, track centered life. I miss equestrian team. I miss condescending people. Mostly I miss people.

    I love a lot of things here. I love seeing the stars. I love having the horse with me. I love being trusted. I love hugs wherever I go. I love sharing stories. I love learning. I love field work. I love being open with people. I love being independent. I love ta-ing. I love life.

    Sorry if you suffered through this overly optimistic happy post.
    <3

    Current Mood: peaceful
    Friday, December 14th, 2007
    7:21 pm
    my turn!
    1. What time did you get up this morning?
    8:47am
    2. Diamonds or pearls?
    Diamonds
    3. What was the last film you saw at the movies?
    some holiday movie
    4. What is your favorite TV show?
    Grey's, house, sadly nip tuck
    5. What do you usually have for breakfast?
    cereal

    6. What is your middle name?
    Jo
    7. What food do you dislike?
    really spicy stuff
    8. What is your favorite CD at the moment?
    grandaddy
    9. What kind of car do you drive?
    Pontiac Sunfire
    10. Favorite sandwich?
    yum, panara.... yum
    11. What characteristics do you despise?
    cruelty
    12. Favorite item of clothing?
    fishy
    13. If you could go anywhere on vacation where would you go?
    Alaska, Europe...
    14. What color is your bathroom?
    green at home, off white at school (dirty colored)
    15. Favorite brand of clothing?
    tailored sportsman... just kidding... whatever is cheap
    16. Where would you retire?
    with my pony
    17 Most memorable birthday?
    probably my 21st
    18. Favorite Sport to watch?
    horseback riding, basketball, football, volleyball...
    19. Furthest place you are sending this?
    ummmm
    20. Who do you expect to send this back to you?
    ummm
    21. Person you expect to send it back first?
    ummmmmmm
    22. Favorite saying?
    riding is the art of keeping a horse between yourself and the ground
    23. When is your birthday?
    April 8th
    24. Are you a morning person or a night person?
    Morning
    25. What is your shoe size?
    11, 11.5, 10.5 mens for spikes
    26. Pet?
    Danar, Patchies, marshmellow, two home goldfish and 7 school goldfish, and twins (hehehe)
    27. What did you want to be when you were little?
    A vet
    28. What are you today?
    A student, a waitress, a horse person, a biologist in training, and a lawyersecretary
    29. What is your favorite candy?
    dark chocolate m&ms
    30. What is your favorite flower?
    daisies and clover flowers(wow same here, they look like summer and home)
    31. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?|
    christmas
    32. What church/temple do you attend?
    I guess edinboro methadist when i go
    33. What are you listening to right now?
    mom talking
    34. What was the last thing you ate?
    ice cream with chocolate chips and almonds
    35. Do you believe in Angels?
    yes
    36. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
    forest green
    37. What is your pet peeve?
    condescending people
    38. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
    mom
    39. Favorite soft drink?
    birch beer or cream soda... i never drink it but yum!
    40. Favorite restaurant?
    ocean buffet, valenza
    41. Hair Color?
    brown
    42. Siblings?
    jake
    43. Favorite day of the year?
    march 4th... in all seriousness I love most fall days
    46. Hugs or kisses?
    hugs
    47. Chocolate or vanilla?
    chocolate
    48. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back?
    meh
    49. When was the last time you cried?
    a couple weeks ago, riding
    50. What is under your bed?
    monsters of my past
    51. Who is the friend you've had longest?
    em
    52. What did you do last night?
    watched tv with my parents
    53. Favorite smell?
    new leather, vanillia, horses, and ellen's house
    54. What are you afraid of?
    complete darkness, falling, death, and something bad happening to my horse
    55. How many keys on your key ring?
    12ish
    56. How many years at your current job
    4 at valenza's
    57. Favorite day of the week?
    uumph
    58. How many towns have you lived in?
    edinboro and easton
    59. Do you make friends easily?
    Thursday, August 23rd, 2007
    1:16 pm
    days of running the fields with the ponies are over
    Summer is over. I leave for school on saturday. This has been one of the best and worst summers of my life. I had the busiest and most varied summer ever. I don't want to say goodbye to my horse again. I don't want my summer class to be over (even though it has been over for over a month). I don't want my internship to be over. I don't want to leave home friends yet.

    On the other hand, I am completely ready to go back to school. People are dispersing. Both of my jobs are over. I need to start running again. I miss school people and being on my own.

    I will miss the stars and the horse. I will miss open spaces. I will miss galloping bareback in flip flops.

    Peace
    Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007
    12:36 am
    I copy my dearest Emmy!!!

    1) Was 2006 a good year for you? Yes... and empty glass is half full
    2) What was your favorite moment of the year? Probably something haveing to do with Danar... Realizing he was turning out so well. Or patriot league championships where I realized the impossible is possible
    3) What was your least favorite moment of the year? when I got myself in a situation I am not proud of and ended up hurting someone really really badly.
    4) Where were you when 2006 began? Happy's house... it made me happy.. I was wearing a toga
    5) Who were you with? friends and the dwarfs
    6) Where will you be when 2006 ends? my own house
    7) Who will you be with when 2006 ends? Friends yet again
    8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2005? I don't know that I made any. So apparently I wanted to be more assertive. No, I will never be that.
    9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2006? Watch what I eat more. If I put crap into my body I can't expect to get wonderous things out of it.
    10) Did you fall in love in 2006? yes
    11) Did you make any new friends in 2006? Yes, I love friends.
    12) Who are your favorite new friends? All my trackie freshmen, My equestrian team freshmen, Minza, Probably lots that I can't remember right now. I am horrible with remembering.
    13) What was your favorite month of 2005? May/June was amazing... Three great track meets and bringing home my lovely Danar... Enjoying school and Enjoying home.
    14) Did you travel outside of the US in 2006? sadly no
    15) How many different states did you travel to in 2005? Pa, NJ, NY, Ohio, NC, Ma,
    16) Did you miss anybody in the past year? Chance, Dolly, Joyce, home people when I am at school and school people when i am at home.
    17) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2006? Elizabethtown or over the hedge
    18) What was your favorite song from 2006? Let go
    19) What was your favorite record from 2006? don't know
    20) How many concerts did you see in 2006? only an 80s cover band
    21) Did you have a favorite concert in 2006? nope
    22) did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2006? not really
    23) did you do a lot of drugs in 2006? only very mild painkillers when I am hurt and an inhaler when I stop breathing
    24) How many people did you sleep with in 2006? I sleep with lots of people... but all I do is sleep, and by sleep I mean SLEEP... well sometimes I cuddle tooooo.
    25) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year? yes
    26) Did you lie to anyone in 2006? yes, and I really need to not do that
    27) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2006? I don't recall
    28) Did you treat somebody badly in 2006? yes
    29) Did somebody treat you badly in 2006? yes, but I need to learn not to let it hurt
    30) How much money did you spend in 2006? more than I should have... NEVER think it is a good idea to buy a horse when you are in college
    31) What was your proudest moment of 2006? Triple jumping really far or riding my horse up the road with just a halter and lead rope
    32) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005? Lots of them...always lots of them
    33) What are you going to remember most about 2006? Getting Danar
    34) What are your plans for 2007? Survive and be happy
    35) Did anyone close to you give birth? not that I recall
    36)What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? action and decisiveness... also my happyness back
    37)What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? June first, the day I had to have danar home by... I got home from school the night before I was hauling him home... getting a place ready for a horse in a night is quite a treat.
    38) What was your biggest achievement of the year? track and horse
    39) What was your biggest failure? my grades
    40) Did you suffer illness or injury? normal track hurties... skinning my knee.. twisting my ankle
    41) What was the best thing you bought? Danar
    42) Whose behavior merited celebration? Everyones
    43) Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? I just hate seeing people screw themselves
    44) Where did most of your money go? horse, equestrian team
    45) What did you get really, really, really excited about? Riding! Going home! tracking!
    46) Compared to this time last year, are you:
    i. happier or sadder?: happier because my first day back's workout was easier this year
    ii. thinner or fatter?: thinner but heavier
    iii. richer or poorer?: about the same
    47) What do you wish you'd done more of? enjoying everything and appreciating what is around me
    48) What do you wish you'd done less of? staring at where I am puting my feet down. Worrying
    49) How will you be spending Christmas? spent it with the family
    50) What was your favorite TV program? Grey’s anatomy
    51) Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? yes, but I try not to hate
    52) What was the best book you read this year? Human phys... it is amazing
    53) What was your greatest musical discovery? I can break out of my brother's shadow in this regard. Dance music is great.
    54) What did you want and not get? a boyfriend... hehehee, that matters little
    55) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 20, The trackies counted down to midnight(my birthday) and we had fun. Then spent time with family
    56)What's one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? More love
    57) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? mostly t-shirts but nice clothes are expanding
    58) What kept you sane? horse, running, friends, music
    59) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006: you can't do it alone
    60) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: let go.. jump in.. we are what youre waiting for... its all right... cause theres beauty in the breakdown
    Tuesday, December 12th, 2006
    8:23 pm
    Wednesday, November 29th, 2006
    3:16 pm
    IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
    1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
    2. Put it on shuffle
    3. Press play
    4. For every question, type the song that's playing
    5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
    6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool

    and this was fun!!!!!!!! try it!!! all the cool kids are doing it!!!


    Opening Credits
    World’s apart, jars of clay

    Waking Up
    right track- from pippin

    First Day at School
    History of the defeated, the weakerthans (fitting isn't it?)

    Falling in Love
    Lebanese Blonde, thievery corporation

    Fight Song
    now its on, grandaddy

    Breaking Up
    goodbye my lover, james blunt (this couldn't have been any better)

    Prom
    don’t panic, coldplay

    Life is Good
    the winner takes it all, abba

    Mental Breakdown
    creep, radiohead

    Driving
    the past, from aida

    Flashback
    corner of the sky, pippin

    Getting Back Together
    meet virginia, train

    Wedding
    drugs or me, jimmy eat world

    Paying the Dues
    buddy holly, weezer

    The Night before the War
    love song, pippin

    Final Battle
    check up on it, beonce

    Moment of Triumph
    cry, james blunt

    Death Scene
    ridin’ dirty, chamillionaire

    Funeral Song
    under pressure, david bowie

    End Credits
    ok with my decay, grandaddy
    Sunday, November 5th, 2006
    10:29 pm
    I have been getting sick of my music choices lately, so what are some of your favorite songs. I just want some ideas for music. Thank you much.

    I just got back from a riding lesson and I feel soooo much better. I am exausted, but I feel like myself again, YAY!!
    Wednesday, September 20th, 2006
    2:29 pm
    really stupid survey... if i were you i wouldn't read this
    I am trying to put off doing work and I found this fun-looking back at highschool survay. Humor me and fill one out yourself.

    During senior year:
    1. What School did u attend?
    GM!!
    2. What year was it?
    2003-04
    3. What were your favorite band(s) or artist(s)?
    Jimmy Eat World, AFI, Red Hot Chillie Peppers
    4. What was your favorite outfit?
    paper towell or fishie with a pair of jeanes or that ugly long green skirt. I loved it
    5. What was up with your hair?
    It was always in a ponytail or in two braids
    6. Who was your best friend(s)?
    I don't remember exactly. We were such a tight group of friends
    7. What did you do after school?
    track practice, or horse time
    8. Where did you work?
    Drove my mom's friend's mom home from work.
    9. Did you take the bus?
    no, I drove Sunny Boy
    10. Who did you have a crush on?
    Lotsa people
    11. Did you have a girlfriend/boyfriend and who?
    noppers, at that point i was still depressed about that fact
    12. Did you fight with your parents?
    yes, with mom a lot
    13. Did you ever get detention?
    NEVER!
    14. Favorite Subject?
    I really liked ceramics and Jewlery.
    16. Who did you have a CELEBRITY crush on?
    I don't think I had one at that point
    17. Did you smoke cigarettes?
    never
    18. Where was your Senior Prom held?
    Ummm, some place in Erie. It had a giant dancefloor and was amazing fun though
    20. Admit it, were you popular?
    i never thought I was popular, but I could hold my own.
    21. Who did you want to be just like?
    Joyce, i kinda still do. She is sooo out there and amazing.
    22. What did you want to be when you grew up?
    a vet
    23. Where did you think you'd be at the age you are now?
    I thought I would be at college near home probably having Chance with me. I never really thought about the future that much. \
    Thursday, September 14th, 2006
    11:17 pm
    What is it about depressing music that makes me so very happy. I love depressing songs. They just do something to me.

    We had a mandatory junior meeting with career services. Apparently at this point in your life you are supposed to know what you want to do. Should I go to grad school? How about Law school? Med school? Seeing that I can't type in a complete sentance yet I don't think any of those are good ideas. If you have any ideas for me let me know. I figure I can go work somewhere as a stablehand and work for my own and Danar's board. An existance of just getting by. Why does that seem appealing. Nothing like wasting my whole education.

    Speaking of education it is time for emmy to go to bed and dream of nerves in preperation for human phys tomorrow.

    Let me know if you have any ideas for me about my future.

    Current Mood: content
    Current Music: Over my head.
    Tuesday, September 5th, 2006
    2:17 pm
    smile
    Mommie sent me a letter today and it was what I really needed to hear. It was three pages long and it was amazing. It really made me realize that as much as I dislike my mom some of the time, she made me who I am. She gave me my strange way of being happy and content with what I have. She passed that outlook onto me along with her strange faith. I guess I never really realized this before. It gives me such an amazing feeling... knowing this.
    Sunday, July 2nd, 2006
    4:46 pm
    I swear they are convinced that I am crazy and I am not about to disagree with them. You would think they would be used to me by now, but noppers new ones appear all the time. There is nothing wrong with walking briskly up the road with a sickle and a pair of gloves in one hand and a carrot in the other. I just wanted to cut some grass in my pasture, then hang out with my horse. The campers continue to believe that I am insane. They see me climb over the stall, jump into the pasture then take off running untill I get to my horse. I promptly feed him the carrot and put my sickle down and jump on him, free in the pasture, and just ride around for a bit. Then I jump off and frantically cut grass with a dull rusty curved blade. I am not insane, I just have an odd sense of fun.

    *smile* I love summer
    Wednesday, May 17th, 2006
    10:54 pm
    holy crap..... I bought a horse again.... holy crap
    Sunday, May 7th, 2006
    9:55 am
    track is over??? yeah right
    Hehehhee, I know I posted before that track was almost over, but I lied. Leagues was this past weekend at Holy Cross. I did long at triple as always. In long my teammate and I tied with jumps of 17'11". This matched my personal best. I had the next best jump so I got third and Jessica got fourth. I guess we train together too much, so now we jump together. We always end up next to each other in jumping order.

    Something strange happened in triple and I ended up beating my best over and over. My best jump of the day was 38'11.5". That beat my old best by over a foot!! That just is .75inches away from our school record. I am still in shock from it. I ended up winning triple, qualifying for ECACs, and because I won qualifying for regionals. I never thought I would do this. I don't know if i am going to both meets yet... i still have to talk to coach and see what he thinks. But still, wow, wow, wow. crazy isn't it? I finially beat my long time rival in triple. I would always jump against her at the Kane Invite. She would beat me in triple and I would beat her in long. Now I finially beat her in both long and triple. WOOOOOOO.... We are friends though. I don't want it to seem like we dislike each other. We are just competitive.

    <3

    Current Mood: shocked
    Saturday, April 29th, 2006
    12:15 am
    Do I really say that many strange things? If you don't want to like me that is perfectly ok, but it really hurts me if you say it where I can hear it. Please just ignore me completely or avoid me. I know I am not just like everyone else out there. I like to be myself and I like to be happy. LIVE WITH IT. Don't say stuff about me because I am different. I realize I am, and yes I do want to be friends with everyone. I don't like people to be upset with me or for me to be upset with them. I like harmony between people.

    (sorry about the vent.. I really took something to heart I probably should have ignored)

    Current Mood: crushed
    Monday, April 24th, 2006
    10:23 pm
    I am gonna copy lizza...


    1. I'll respond with something random I like about you.
    2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
    3. I'll name something we should do together.
    4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or just me).
    5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
    6. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you.
    7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
    8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal so you can do the same for other people.

    so just leave a comment and I will reply...
    Sunday, April 23rd, 2006
    7:54 pm

    Wooooooo, 

    Two weeks of track left and I am going to make it count.  This weekend we were supposed to have a meet on sat, but it got postponed due to rain.  It was a cold icky rain.  We had it today instead, there were supposed to be thunderstorms today.  This morning for my jumps it was just cold and lightly raining on and off.  Wow it was humid.  But yeah, triple jump was first and noone was jumping well.  My first jump was a 33!!  I haven't jumped 33 since early highschool.  It was crazy.  I ended up getting a 35 something in prelims and a 36 1 in finals.  Coach was very happy to say the least.  I told him I love jumping in crappy conditions, now he believes me.  If i can jump that in the cold, I better be able to get a 37 in nice weather.  In long jump we had a three way tie at 17 feet.  It made me happy.  I ended up with third when they went down the jumps.  I can't wait for the rest of this season.  I <3 my trackies right now.  

    Tuesday, April 18th, 2006
    10:13 am
    I can't get her face out of my head. The frightened look in her large innoscent eyes. The way she was fully awake and aware. She had honesty, frightened honesty written all over her. She was the essence of a child. She should never have been in a place like that. She held her head high with pride. Her pride made me want to cry. Her dignity was taken away when the money was passed. She should have never come to that place. I wished for all the world that I could have taken her home. There was something about her that struck me. I don't know exactly what it was. Perhaps the way she caught my eye when I walked in. Perhaps the way she carried herself... wanting to run. Perhaps it was because the oversized bit was hung too low in her mouth and the saddle was giant on her back. Perhaps because I knew the story behind her.

    She was a gift for a girl from a boy. Now she was being sold because that boy and girl became very close and there was a baby on the way. The girl needed money to pay for the baby's stuff. She showed no regret. THe girl's mother was there with her. I spend a very long time talking with them. I couldn't look away as the scene played out before me. I couldn't look away as another little girl walked off with the pony i fell in love with. I can only hope that she went to a good home and that she isn't in an alpo can.
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